True Look

Having gone through Madge's entire music video collection this evening, I feel confident in saying that her best look was the True Blue era. The worst? Probably the quite terrifying Hard Candy cover. Don't have nightmares now.

Happy Birthday

Blogging is Boring is out celebrating it's one month birthday. Opinions and must have fashion commentary returns tomorrow, with hangover.

In Profile: Audrey Hepburn

She is the enduring fashion icon with the bushy eyebrows, questionable cockney accent and a taste for little black dresses. From World War II to Park Avenue, Hepburn soon set the style for the 50s and 60s. Breakfast at Tiffany's, with that iconic LBD, cemented Hepburn in fashion history. In Roman Holiday, her wide-eyed wonder and innocence won her an Oscar. And in My Fair Lady, she was, quite simply, at the top of her game. "How do I look?" chirped Holly Golightly. Bloody marvelous, darling.

Woof

That dress really suits you, bitch.

Wintour warmer

We all know that Anna Wintour loves, loves, loves fur. But I bet you didn't know she liked to smile? Wrap up warm this winter, wear a smile.

Sweet as Suga

The original and best. Now is your chance, girls. Get back together!

Wintle

Now that's what I call a coat. Or is it a dress?

Jeremy Scott

"I think I left the oven on."

Christopher Kane

Checks are back, grab a hamper before the snow arrives.

Issa London

The Dark Angel returns to London Fashion Week, for a dip.

Matthew Williamson

"Get out of my way, I'm fabulous!"

Kinder Aggugini

"Yeah, I'm just popping to the shop for like, bread and stuff."

In Profile: Joan Crawford

From silent movie star, to flapper extraordinaire, to shoulder pads and lipstick. Joan Crawford sported many looks during her career, most notably 1980s shoulder pads, forty years early! Enduring battles with studios, Bette Davis, and even her children, this woman was not to be messed with. After winning an Oscar for Mildred Pierce, Joan took control of her late husband's company Pepsi-Cola, sitting on the board of directors (until she was forcibly removed). Although her children alleged she physically and mentally abused them, this has done little to damage her reputation as one of the greatest movie stars in her generation. And as for those shoulder pads, this woman set the trend!

Madonna and child

When she was forty, he was eleven. Fact.

Sleeping with the enemy

Hanging out with Katie Grand? Would would Dascha say, Tavi?

McDress

Enough of traditional wedding dresses! Make like Vera Wang and sashay down the runway, um, I mean aisle, in a mac 'n' skirt. Like mac 'n' cheese, only silkier (and more expensive).

Truth be told

As with most fashion bloggers, my daily concerns range from the obvious (What shall I write about today?) to the obsessive (Why won't Sienna's publicist get back to me about the Twenty8Twelve show?). What doesn’t concern me, however, is telling the truth. The hard truth. Such as the fact that Donatella, fabulous though she is, looks like a toad. Or that Claudia's elbows sag awfully low in the new D&G perfume commercial. Or that Kate Moss talks like a six year-old child with learning difficulties. These truths are harsh, but that's the nature of fashion. Take it or leave it.

Make do and shame

A visit to the Imperial War Museum today, where the 'make do and mend' mentality becomes clearer than ever. In fact, the 1943 classic has been re-issued in response to the credit crunch, containing such household wonders as 'Freeze leftover pieces of cake until you have enough to make a trifle'. And there I was thinking that trifles had died back in the 70s.

Perhaps the modern shopper should take such advice seriously. There never was a better time than now to learn how to sew, save and spare. And when our economy does recover, are we going to fix the button on that shirt, or just pop round the corner to Uniqlo and buy another? I'd like to think 'blitz' but feeling rather sceptical. There is no shame in repair!

In other WWII related news, Vera Lynn is now at number one!

Coat conundrum

With winter approaching, its time to start researching your next coat purchase. But with a decent warmer costing upwards of a hundred pounds, how many coats is too many? The one-a-year rule does indeed cause space problems at home. No doubt you have coats under the bed, in the loft, in the back of the wardrobe, the shed, under the kitchen table, etc.

Note the rule 'buy cheap, buy twice'. So stop power-browsing in Primark, spend a little more, and keep this one for two years. Please remember, coats are for life, not just for Christmas. Make it feel loved (it will hug you back when it's below zero).

Shut up and shop

Copying Lady Gaga? Channelling Grace Jones? I don't care what is behind this awful get-up. Where is that umbrella of hers when you need it? Shut up and shop, Rihanna, properly.

Paper bag

Who to invite to Paper magazine's 25th birthday? I bet you wouldn't have guessed Liza would you? Well, she was (David) guest of honour in New York to celebrate the quarter century bash. Hard to believe she is still alive to be honest. I do hope she didn't stay out too late. Even corpses need their beauty sleep.

Walking on hot Coles

Joanna Coles, editor of Marie Claire US, has a look that could turn most to stone. She is also British, and lives in New York. Remind you of anyone?

In her defence, Coles does not wear sunglasses indoors, appears to hold a sense of humour, and certainly does not have Lego hair. Are comparisons with Anna Wintour fair? Perhaps a duel will reveal the answer. A fashion duel, naturally, with Hermes swords.

Lola style

Here's a question. Is Lourdes Leon a style icon? Mix and match, check. Kooky glasses, check. Obama bag? This girl is going places. She even has a moody catwalk face that would put La Campbell to shame. Oh, and her mother is Madonna. End of.

Catch of the day

Don't drink bad coffee. Don't eat yellow snow.

Legend Lynn

She is ninety-two and at number two in the album charts. She has no diva strops, no perfume range, and doesn't fall out of Embassy and vomit for the paps. Born Vera Margaret Welch, she became the forces sweetheart, gained a DBE (no I hadn't heard of it either) and is still alive and kicking today. Oh, and she's in the process of suing the BNP. Vera Lynn rocks. Check out the polka dots!

Belgian booking

That coat! That walk! That quiff!

Someone please make this happen! I'm sure it can be organised for LFW, with some imagination, investment, ingenuity, more investment, some incense, a spell, a spider, a stir... oh you get the idea.

Headache

Anna Wintour wore this at her own premiere? Nothing to add, headache flares up with just a glance.

(The September Issue review coming soon...)

Cruise (lost) control

Watched Cocktail last night. What has happened to Tom Cruise in recent years? He looked much better pre-war* don’t you think?

Back in the day he went by the rather regal name of Thomas Cruise Mapother III. I could make a joke about the surname Cruise, (you know the one) but I don’t fancy his publicist shouting down the phone at me, and I really haven't the time to be sued (again) at the moment.

Suffice to say, name-changing is a popular pastime in Hollywood. From Monroe to Manson, everyone with a game has a name. Even those on the game.

But anyway, here is an example of pre-war and post-war Tom, for your critical eyes.

*Katie Holmes

Do not read this

When it comes to making decisions of a literary nature, or being unable to make them, (as is evident here) my advice, should you want it, is to write without thinking, then review the piece (of crap) afterwards.

Upon review, you will see that my opening sentence has far too many commas, two very unnecessary (and un-amusing) bracketed comments, and is rather useless as a piece of advice.

Confused yet? Me too. Please take this blog with a pinch of salt. And a whisky, if you so wish.

Belt be gone

From the look of this first picture from SATC2, it seems Patricia Field's near obsession with rib-crunching belts has waned, (having instead turned up in Ugly Betty).

And where Pat leads, the rest often follow. So breathe deep ladies, it might be the last chance you get before winter, when the skinny mac-buckles attack.

As for all you drivers out there, safety never goes out of style. Belt up.